Hollywood, Hollywood. You can’t help but get in your own way, can you?
Some of Sunday night’s Oscars, hosted by Conan O’Brien, was very funny, sporadically interesting (there was only the seventh-ever tie in 98 years — Best Live-Action Short) and quite moving.
And then there were the other two hours and 45 minutes of lectures and monotonous droning.
The good? The beautiful In Memoriam segment honoring lost icons such as Rob Reiner, Robert Redford, Diane Keaton, Catherine O’Hara and Robert Duvall had me grasping for industrial crates of tissues.
And Conan started out with a hilarious sendup of Best Supporting Actress winner Amy Madigan’s Aunt Gladys character in “Weapons” — one of the best Academy Awards openers in a long time.
The skyscraper-tall ginger host was dressed as the clownish witch, and got chased by the mob of killer kids through scenes from the Best Picture nominees. His gags after that were hit and miss, and geeky as ever, but he’s an affable emcee.
Strong musical performances of Best Song winner “Golden” from “KPop Demon Hunters” and “I Lied To You” from “Sinners” perked up the podium pablum.
Give me more of that, please, and to save some time, go back to just five Best Picture nominees.
Entertainment for the viewers at home often got the brush in favor of repetitious politics. A lot of the speeches were finger-waggy without any emotional oomph beneath them. There were hardly any moments you’ll want to rewatch on YouTube ever again.
Call me old fashioned, but I’m a big fan of: Let your work speak for itself and don’t go over your allotted time.
Do you want to be the next Adrien Brody? Apparently many do!
Past host and Donald Trump foe Jimmy Kimmel showed up midway through to make some predictable cracks at the prez.
“Oh man, is he going to be mad his wife wasn’t nominated for this,” he said referring to the documentary “Melania” about Melania Trump.
Um, “Melania” was released Jan. 30, 2026. It wasn’t eligible at the Oscars.
Kumail Nanjiani got a lot of flack for a rotten Holocaust joke (already off to bad start) during an intro about shortening long films. “Schindler’s Post-It,” he said. Good God.
And presenting Best International Feature Film, actor Javier Bardem began with, “No to war, and Free Palestine.”
Many others dwelled vaguely on international unrest, as if they think viewers are getting their news from the Oscars instead of obsessively reading about it all day long.
The main reason the ceremony cried out for more razzle dazzle is the night turned out far, far more predictable than many initially presumed.
There were almost no upsets to speak of. I mean, I guess I was a little surprised when “One Battle” lost Best Cinematography to “Sinners.” But that’s about it. In my predictions, I got 18 out of 20 correct. I’m not bragging. I was craving some shakeups.
So much for the supposed nail-biter between “One Battle After Another” and “Sinners.” It turned out to not be such a big battle after all.
Going into Sunday night, the Southern vampire flick “Sinners” had an all-time-record 16 nominations. And two weeks prior at SAG’s Actor Awards, it snapped up Best Ensemble. After that, some pundits believed “Sinners” could go all the way.
Nope. The bloodsuckers saw the sun.
The box-office hit ultimately fell to “One Battle,” which won Best Picture, Director, Adapted Screenplay, Editing, Supporting Actor (Sean Penn, who didn’t show up) and Casting.
Other victors were similarly obvious.
Jessie Buckley (“Hamnet”) winning Best Actress had been pre-ordained for months.
A few might’ve been shocked to witness Michael B. Jordan (“Sinners”) knock out Timothée Chalamet (“Marty Supreme”) and Leonardo DiCaprio (“One Battle After Another”) in Best Actor. But Jordan won at SAG a fortnight ago. He was the favorite.
In three years, the Oscars move online to YouTube.
I hope the producers — well, I hope there are new producers.
But whoever is in charge should take the reboot as an opportunity to remake the Academy Awards to be a celebration of our love of movies — and not just use streaming as an excuse to let the winners talk and talk.
No more one blatherer after another.
